I found these questions online on one of my favorite BDSM podcast (half-run by John Brownstone, aka the “Southern Sir” who wrote the 30 Days of submission questions), and figured I’d do these, too, since the first 30-day challenge worked so well for me. These questions are also much longer than the others, so buckle in for reading each one before my answers (which can be found at the bottom).
What does dominance mean to you? Whether you are identifying as a Dominant or a submissive, you may have some picture in your mind of what kind of person is a Dominant.
What does dominance in a relationship mean to you? What traits will a Dominant have? How should a Dominant behave?
To me, dominance in a relationship is someone being in charge and having control over the day-to-day of the relationship. I talked a little about this in Day 26 of the 30 Days of submission blog series, but I’ll go further into it here:
A good Dominant for me will be patient, in control, able to keep his cool or step away when he needs to clear his head, is stern when he needs to be, kind and gentle when the time comes, trustworthy and loving above all else. A Dominant will always behave fairly, treat his submissive respectfully as per their relationship agreement, push the submissive’s boundaries (never breaking a hard limit), respect safewords, give aftercare, encourage his submissive to grow, and be open to clear communication and always learning.